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How to improve interpersonal skills: 10 golden rules.
How to improve interpersonal skills: 10 golden rules.
How to improve interpersonal skills: 10 golden rules. In addition to work, interpersonal skills are very important for the survival pressure of modern people.
How people relate to each other often determines a person's state. Many people's worries and anxieties are also in interpersonal relationships. The relationship with the superior is probably the most important.
Relationships with peers are often tricky. If you are a leader in size, the relationship with your subordinates will often bother you.
As for the relationship with customers and partners, it is almost a daily haunting thing in the minds of marketers, which is sometimes mixed with the entanglement of the opposite sex.
Without work, love, making friends, and spare time activities are also indispensable interpersonal relationships.
How to improve interpersonal skills: 10 golden rules
Interpersonal Relationships often become part of the stress of work and life. If you are not good at solving this problem, you may get into trouble.
When many people encounter interpersonal problems, they will be intimidated, complain about the bad working environment all day, or think about some means. Some people will think it very trivial or even low, and go to find such shameful political guidance as "the black school".
All kinds of modern versions of the so-called "art of observing people" and "art of dealing with people" have also been put on the stage to confuse the public. As a result, the problem has not been solved; instead, it has polluted the mind. Or it seems to fix things for a while, but the relationship worsens over time. Or the abscess here is crowded, and there is a bigger abscess.
What follows is that his condition is getting worse and worse, and I don't know why.
So, how to deal with interpersonal relationships?
How to keep interpersonal relationships from damaging work and life, even beneficial to our work and life?
Where is our great wisdom?
10 rules on how to improve interpersonal skills
1. Empathy and understanding.
This is the first principle of dealing with interpersonal relationships.
People are used to observing problems from their own perspectives, their own interests, their own wishes, their own emotions, and their own wishful thinking. It is often difficult to understand others when observing things from the above perspective. There are many phenomena such as the theory of justice and the theory of law.
This is almost the case in all bilateral and multilateral interpersonal conflicts.
As long as we stand in an objective position, we will find that the two sides of the conflict often do not understand each other at all.
Then, the biggest leap to deal with the bilateral relationship between oneself and others is to change the one-way observation and thinking from me. Be good at observing things from the perspective of the other party.
On this basis, be good at understanding the meaning of others.
There are more reasonable ways to deal with bilateral relations in this way.
Without empathy and understanding, there will be no new relationships.
2. Don't do what you don't want.
This principle is the first comment on the understanding of others.
It's a golden rule to follow when dealing with interpersonal relationships.
This is the true equal treatment of people and the democratic spirit that has been applied throughout the ages.
Do not understand this point, there will be so much wishful thinking, there will be so many unreasonable. Do what you don't want to do to others, no matter to colleagues, subordinates, friends, partners, or lovers.
If you don't understand this, generally speaking, it's hard to achieve yourself. If you go higher, it's hard to be a great person.
Everyone can be great.
Who can implement what you don't want to do to others in a comprehensive way can make your own success and greatness?
3. Do not ask for a free lunch.
There was no free lunch in the world.
Not knowing this is related to not knowing what you don't want to do to others.
People don't want to offer free lunches to unrelated people. However, when things turn to themselves, they often don't understand why. I should share the achievements of others. Someone else has money. I should be clean. Others have fame and status; it seems that they should all be divided up. It's disgusting to know who gets paid for nothing.
The idea of seeking a free lunch is born in my heart, which often makes my life wither, my heart is poor, and I have no future.
Even if some people don't ask for free lunch, the same psychological activities continue. All kinds of jealousy and pie dropping daydreams fill the brain. He was tortured by many imbalances and vicious attacks.
Put down the heart of asking for free lunch, you will be more quiet and calm, and more confident and enterprising.
4. Push what you want to do to others.
If you know what you don't want to do to others, you should further understand what you want to do to others
Don't impose on others what you don't like.
When you think of something you desire, you may also want to think of someone else.
To achieve this, the state of life is quite advanced.
When you want to feel secure, you need to understand others' need for it, and even help others to feel secure. If you want to be understood, cared for, and loved, you need to know how to give others understanding, care, and love as much as you can.
By giving others understanding and concern, you can adjust your relationship at a high level, and you can also adjust your own state very well - a good state comes from both the return of the other party and the result of your "giving".
It is kind to others and at the same time be kind to yourself.
Friends may as well write down the attitudes they want most from others, ask themselves, and then think that others have the same hopes.
Being generous with others on these terms is the most correct way to deal with relationships.
5. Never forget to appreciate others.
This principle is the first annotation to be extended to others.
Everyone wants to be understood and appreciated, which is a great driving force for a person to live and struggle in this world. As a child, the appreciation of parents will make children actively and excitedly develop, and the appreciation of teachers will make students study hard without sleep or food. As an adult, social appreciation is one of the greatest driving forces of a person's work.
To be good at appreciating others is to give others the greatest kindness and the most mature personality.
Everyone is strong and weak. In the desire to appreciate this, very talented people are actually very weak.
If appreciation is too scarce, genius will wither.
6. Treat people with integrity.
Honesty has been talked about again and again. It's not the same here. Because we understand that treating others well is treating ourselves well. Therefore, treating others honestly is not only to create an impression on others but also to build our own virtue and brand. This kind of honesty, which is naturally revealed by sincerity, is the demand of life.
In the state of treating people with integrity, we find peace and a smooth flow of thinking.
Being honest with others and doing things in good faith can make us upright, upright, open-minded, and free from obstacles
Honesty is not only an attitude towards others but also the quality of life.
Honesty is not the means of life, but the purpose of life.
A person can live in good faith because he has wisdom, state, and conditions.
Even from a secular point of view, honesty often leads to the most outstanding success.
7. Be kind and generous.
The ancients said that harmony makes money. Not only in business activities but also in all aspects, harmony is the key to success.
Two stalls sell the same thing, one with a long face and the other with a kind face. The latter must do much better. From an economic point of view, it is much more cost-effective to buy a piece of goods and build a harmonious atmosphere outside than to buy a piece of goods and build a long face. In this way, harmony also contains gold. Harmony is also a commodity.
It is the same thing to treat others with kindness and treat you with kindness.
Treat people with kindness and tolerance.
When we treat all people kindly, we treat the whole world quite completely and kindly.
This principle is natural for friends.
What is important is not to stay on the truth, but to experience in practice.
If you didn't treat people kindly and leniently, it doesn't matter. You don't need to twist hard. As long as you do it a little bit, it's like doing a kind of mental exercise. You will experience the relaxation and openness of your mind each time you are kind to others.
Then, you will be more kind and generous.
A virtuous circle will gradually change you.
8. Do not rely on words to please people, but rely on actions to trust people.
In dealing with interpersonal relationships, some people like to be quick to make a profit and pursue short-term effects. They hate to please everyone and entertain all relationships. This is poor performance.
Say it's poor because it's a fake.
People's intelligence in this world is not so bad. The short-term effect may work for a while, but it is difficult to maintain for a long time. Dealing with interpersonal relationships according to the right principles is our natural revelation and our long-term principle.
Believe that others will always understand and trust themselves.
Even if there is no understanding and distrust, it doesn't matter.
This is the realm of never being afraid of ghosts knocking at the door in the middle of the night.
9. Send coals in time, don't add to the cake.
You should try your best to help others when they need help.
When others sail in the wind, they don't have to follow the crowd.
This is the logic of natural behavior, which is the natural expression of treating people with integrity.
10. Good for good, straight for evil.
In life, some people have kind to you; some people have grievances against you because they have hurt you. How to deal with these virtues and grievances?
There should be no doubt that good for good.
If others help us, we will naturally repay them.
What about resentment?
One way is to "complain". If someone hurt me, I will revenge him equally.
There is also an attitude of "return good for evil". When others hurt me, I will give them a smile and all kinds of benefits.
Which of these two attitudes do you choose?
You may delete it rationally first to complain.
So, is it a good attitude to "return good for evil"?
When you can't make a choice, we can say the answer to Confucius, the ancient sage.
In the Analects of Confucius, there is such a passage, or saying, "what if you repay the enemy with virtue?" Confucius said: "how to repay virtue? To pay for the good, to pay for the bad. “This is Confucius' answer. Some people ask: how about repaying good for evil? Confucius said, "if you repay the evil with virtue, what will you repay it with?"? Therefore, Confucius concluded that we should "repay the blame with honesty, and repay the good with virtue".
When others have the kindness to us, we should naturally repay it.
When others hurt us, we will not complain, because that will reduce our own level and fight with others' wrong practices; we will not complain about virtue, because that will make the world free of right and wrong, or even contribute to crime.
To repay resentment with honesty is to treat resentment with integrity.
It contains the moral condemnation, the dignity of not lowering one's own level and fighting with the other, the silence of justice and restraint, and the basic tenet of treating people honestly as always.
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